Warning: After reading this post, you may never look at a Sharpie the same way again. Like, never ever.

I have more Sharpies than I can wrap my hand around…y’know, kind of like a thick dick’s worth. From Extra Fine to Jumbo chisel-tip, mostly black but a few bright colors thrown in too – in other words, when it comes time to have sexy fun with a Sharpie, I am very well-equipped! But what kind of pervy fun could be had with an innocent little occupant of your top desk drawer, you ask. Oh, quite a bit more than the obvious…there’s a little something for everyone here!

Suck that Sexy Sharpie!

That’s right, select the fattest Sharpie in your collection and, in case it needs to be said, keep the cap on! Pretty sure nothing good would come of you sucking the actual tip, lol. No fat markers on hand? Beginners, don’t worry about it, you’re just working on technique at this point…flickering, swirling, drooling, licking, all that good stuff. But you more advance type need more of a challenge for that cock-hungry mouth of yours – use multiples to simulate true girth and stretch your slutty mouth to accommodate them all. Yes, move them in and out a bit, but your main focus is using those naughty markers to keep in good shape for when you’re lucky enough to suck a thick, juicy one.

Not-So-Permanent Marker Humiliation

Caps off for this one – you are going to do as your mistress instructs with ink that takes more than one hot, scrubby shower to remove. I lean towards the silly and ridiculous, like taking black and orange markers to stripe your cock like a tiger or turn your wrinkly balls into miniature Wilson basketballs! Got a big belly? Oh my, that’s quite a canvas you’re offering me 🙂  Then there are the more textual options wide open to us, like “Property of Mistress Claire” written just above your crotch. Or “Full of Cum” across your stomach. I think my favorite though was turning nipples into eyes with lashes, brows and everything – would you do that for me?

Sexy Fun With A Sharpie Up Your Bum

Now you knew this one was coming – it’s a crowd favorite! Just google “Sharpie stuck in my ass” and check out the variety of results, including reports on the “Sharpie Challenge”, which is all about how many markers you can stretch your ass to hold. I’m down for keeping count while you do this on webcam for me, hehe! But otherwise, a Sharpie-up-the-butt is really a beginner’s makeshift toy, to get you used to a little anal action. Now, Sharpies are pretty smooth and lube is pretty slippery, so keep a washcloth or something grippy to make sure you can pull it out – you don’t want to find yourself on that page of google results I mentioned!

Now if you really want to make progress with anal fun, check out the Anal Training Program I put together with Mistress Delia – it’s half-price all summer to encourage you to explore the naughty pleasure of your own ass. Your prostate will thank you!