When it comes to terminology, everything to do with sex has an abundant collection of synonyms. Some semen / cum words are pretty commonplace, some are very submissive, and some are just plain hilarious. The main reason this post is going up so late tonight is that, in researching this, I was very entertained by everything I stumbled across. Now this isn’t a comprehensive list – you’re welcome to find those just about anywhere online.. This is more of a curated list according to my tastes. I hope by the end that you conclude I have good taste in dirty words!
CUM-mon Words for Semen
Cum, however you want to spell it, is the clear leader whether you’re vanilla or kinky AF. I’m pretty convinced that words with a K sound in it is either funny or dirty, so it’s no wonder “cum” is king of this category! If it’s a fairly epic amount, you might go for cumshot. Honorable mentions go to splooge, load, wad and jizz/jism (I actually got Words With Friends to accept jism once, but I think they’ve since classified it as unacceptable, grrr #censorship).
Clinical Terms
Now if you’re at the doctor’s office or indulging in a medical roleplay with me, that’s a whole other set of vocabulary. Having accompanied the occasional boyfriend on appointments, I know it can be hard for you guys to remember there are ‘official’ words for cum! Heh, no wonder they wanted me along for those trips. I’d opt for a few other terms with a distinctly more clinical bent – semen (duh), sperm, ejaculate, and seminal fluid. And really, said with the right intonation and attitude, they can be pretty damn dirty too!
D/s Words For CUM
If you are a certain kind of submissive, you get your own special terminology for your orgasmic release. I mean, JOI and tease & denial strokerboys tend to use the common words above. But others…well, let’s start with the sissies. Sissies lean towards the word “cummies” or “sissy cummies” to describe the mess they make in their panties. I’m totally on board with that! And then there are the little dick boys, including a certain subset of cuckolds. They use cummies as well sometimes, but if I get to choose the word, I go for “squirties”. Are you a humiliation slut? Because for you, I like to refer to it as cock snot, though I probably forget to use that one as often as I should.
Of course this is the most relevant category for most of my readers, so I’d love to know if I’ve left out any good ones in the comments below!
Funny Semen Synonyms
Ball batter – not only does it make me laugh, it also makes me think of baseball… which just makes me laugh harder.
Man juice or Man cream – the use of beverage imagery makes it sound a lot more palatable than it actually is, lol.
Spill your seed – In some circumstances, it can sound really hot, like in Game of Thrones. Otherwise, it’s kind of…horticultural-creepy.
For the megalomaniacs out there — essence (think General Buck Turgidson in Dr. Strangelove). Of course, Nancy just refers to “creaming” her panties.
One of my favorite terms for semen is “baby batter.” It sounds nice and a little funny. Many sex words have a “dirty” sound to them but this term sounds warm and human.
I never thought of it that way. It has always brought to mind cake, lol.
There’s an old academic joke about a female professor who has just given an invited lecture to a national conference. During the Q&A, she responds to a comment, saying, “Yes, this is an important piece of research, but please don’t call it seminal.”
I hope that actually happened at some point. Now you’d got me wondering what *really* goes on in a seminary!
I prefer my Mistress’ to use CUM and JIZZ followed by LOAD part of the time. I agree with you the ‘K’ sound, CocK & Cum but it’s the hard consonant sounds as well ‘J’ ‘Z’ & ‘K’ in JiZZ, JerK-off, JacK-off and stroKe, liCK, suCK, DrinK, slurP… that hard sound is the equivalent of a *verbal slap* just by its hard sound but not necessarily hard, mean or humiliating although it could be and often should be by intonation. ; )
It’s a wake up call, it cuts right to the chase (I am your Mistress- I am the boss! You WILL eat your own cum for me without the pretty euphemisms!) even when said softly.
Others for your *funny list* jerk juice, jack-off jelly, stroke seed, speed seed (if you are quick to shoot) ball butter, stroke sauce…
I think cummies is on that list for me since it sounds too silly. I’m not a sissy (no judgement) I’m a cum eater who likes my mistress’ to TELL ME what to do and HOW TO do it! Mission CUMpossible style!
I’ve always like spooge, spunk, and jizz. But the medical fetishist in me loves the term ejaculate as a noun and a verb. Those ones always gets the “coffee creamer” going.