Warning: This post might make your brain hurt if you can’t math.
Still reading? Awesome! I’m lucky to have a bunch of math geeks for callers, so this year we’re going to have some Pi Day fun in the form of GIFTS for you! Because yeah, I know you guys have tried to turn March 14th into Steak & Blow Job Day, but that’s just not going to happen. You, however, are absolutely allowed to treat me to a steak – and you can do that any day of the year, too 😉
Everyone who calls me on Pi Day and wishes me a Happy Pi Day WINS!
That’s all you have to do. Yes, sexytexting sessions count the same as calls. There are 3 tiers of gifts, depending on how long you call me for, and it’s all based on multiples of pi, which I certainly hope you’ve known since middle school is commonly rounded to 3.14.
Pi Day Bonus Details
My Availability: 12pm – 3:10pm and 8:30pm – 11:40pm EST
I will be around for at least “pi” hours (roughly 3 hours and 8 minutes) TWICE on Monday, March 14. I am planning to kick off around 11am and then 8pm Eastern time. There’s a good chance I’ll be around for more than “pi” hours for both of those, but when you throw in the clock’s leap forward on Sunday, all hell breaks loose with time planning, lol.
The Math of Qualifying Times
I’ll save you the bother of scrolling around your phone for the calculator app and break it into “real” time.
Up to 10 x Pi = 31 minutes
10 – 15 x Pi = 32 to 47 minutes
Over 15 x Pi = 48+ minutes
Phone Sex Bonuses – The Deets!
SASSY PI(E) BOOKMARK
Designed by me, but it will not have my picture on it. It’ll be fun and flirty and maybe a little bit dirty, but if your wife stumbles across it, you won’t get in any trouble. In other words, my face won’t be on it (and neither will any other body parts, lol). After our call, email me if you want digital or snail mail delivery.
3-MINUTE PI(E) AUDIO
Email me after our call so I know where to send it. And the subject will be…pi(e), of course! Definitely for Mature Audiences Only. I’ve been told I can make anything sound hot, let’s see what I can do with this topic, lol. You’ll receive it later this week.
10 FREE MINUTES
I will make sure that on your next call or sexytexting session of 20+ paid minutes, you will get an additional 10 minutes on me. This bonus is even sweeter than pi(e), don’t you think? The free minutes expire on my birthday, April 30 2022, so you’ve got plenty of time to use them!
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