Reality Check: When it comes to presents, especially at Christmas, I really get way more into giving than receiving. I put together the prettiest packages! So if you’ve been wondering why my Amazon wish list has been a bit lame lately (sorry!), that pretty much explains it. My family has laughingly referred to me as one of Santa’s elves ever since I was in middle school and dressed up as one for a debate* about whether elves should be allowed to unionize.
Big Christmas Thank-You From Your Favorite HoHoHo!
Having said that, I really, really appreciate those of you who added a little (or big!) Christmas tribute to our last call, or sent me something awesome from that minimal wish list. I absolutely love my new leather handbag from the lovely and loyal Nylon Nancy, and yay for a nice big box of Wake The Hell Up caffeinated hot chocolate! Last minute, I had to change my plans to spend a week in Las Vegas when ‘life’ got in the way, so these treats from my thoughtful callers meant even more to me than usual. ‘Life’ wasn’t anything too big, just a slow-moving cold/cough that worked its way around my family – just glad it wasn’t the plague!
2022 Resolutions You Really WANT To Tackle!
But the holidays are not over yet! And while things might be quieter than we’d all like for a New Year celebration … after all, who wants to tempt fate! … I plan to be around to fulfill the following resolutions for you right away. So which one is on YOUR list this year? Hmm??
One solid month of chastity – or go for a whole year!
Eat your own cum for the first time
Face the ruler and take a REAL measurement
Wear panties 222 times in 2022
Get a dildo dedicated for your ass only, and USE IT!
Learn a little sexy shibari (fancy rope bondage)
Master the art of ruining your orgasm
Practice walking in high heels, at least 3″
Behavior modification through naughty line-writing
So tell me in the comments below – what sexy resolution are you making for 2022? I want to hear it, and there’s a really good chance I can help you tick that one off your list with a giggle and a ‘gasm!
* No, my team did not win the “Modernize Santa” debate despite my best elvish efforts. I think it all boiled down to no one wanting Santa to give up his big belly!
My new years resolution/goal is to jerkoff into a zip lock sandwich bag everytime i cum until it is full. I plan on keeping it in the freezer. When it is full i intend to thaw it out in a glass and then gargle it, swish it around in my mouth, put some up my nose and then drink the whole thing in front of one of the ladies at LDW. Of course i plan on being naked and on camera the entire time. Maybe i will just have to hold it in my mouth as i perform other humiliating and degrading acts while one of the special ladies watches and laughs at me.
Miss Claire,
I love your kinky resolutions! Usually my resolutions are the boring kind- save money, give 10% to a charity, etc. While I will do some more boring resolutions, I think it’ll be fun to set a few kinky ones! I like your idea of “facing the ruler.” I’ve always felt a bit inadequate when it comes to my fun stick. I think a true measurement will cast all doubt to the side. I’ll measure and report back.
Also, I’ve pretty much been a recluse for 2 years. One of my resolutions is going to be to have sex 52 times this year. That may not sound like a lot, but for a guy like me (divorced and work a ton), that will be a good challenge. Perhaps a punishment/reward system could make it more interesting. For every time over 52, I get some kind of fun treat (besides a cock in my ass -yes, im gay????). And for every number less than 52, that could be my punishment. For example, each number is 1 week of chastity (48 sexual encounters equals 4 weeks in chastity) or number of trips to Victoria’s Secret where I have to buy something for me and have to try it on so the sales lady knows I like to dress up.
Or, I’m always open to suggestions. ????
Happy New Year!