Did Ms Scarlet’s kinky candy ideas whet your appetite for even more sexy silliness? Because this stop on the Monster Balls Monster’s Ball Halloween blog train is all about dressing up…your cock! So if you’ve been uninspired about how to present your penis at a party, I’ve got plenty of suggestions for cock costumes to entertain anyone you might persuade to have a peek in your pants.

New to the Monster’s Ball Halloween blog train? Start from the beginning for maximum effect on your…monster balls. Oh dear, I’ve made the same joke twice already…and I’ve got some very (in)appropriate AC/DC lyrics stuck in my head now. Sigh…such is the life of a professional pervert!

Cock Costumes for Sale on…ETSY??

Are you in shock that I’m suggesting a handicraft site with an 80% female customer base? I promise, you can find much racier things than a knitted-with-love willy warmer. There’s a ton of ways to get fancy with your fapstick, and below are a few that really caught my attention. As did the names of the shop, heh. And I must say, the creators were tickled hot-pants pink when I asked if I could feature their master(bater)pieces!

So here we have some items of a role-playing nature. Is your cock feeling like Halloween is for puttin’ on the Ritz? Or maybe the little guy wants to see if women truly can’t resist a uniform. As for Super Weenie, only get that if you can live up to the name. I find that…unlikely.

Head on over to Weenie Wear’s Etsy shop if these inspire you!

Looking for something a little more versatile, that you can wear for special role-playing sessions? Or for making me laugh until the tears stream down my face? I’ve never seen Puppetry of the Penis in Las Vegas, but I kind of picture them looking a lot like these gems for your genitalia. Oh by the way, if you click through to the shop, you’ve got to check out two things – the racy reviews with X-rated pics, and the third picture on all the listing is a size chart. Good news for you teenie weenies – their size Small fits a 3-incher! And if you’re smaller than that, just dress as a zit – there’s not much more you can do with that not-really-a-dick.

Gotta have one? Cock Couture’s Etsy shop has over 30 to choose from!

Homemade Cock Costume Ideas

I’ve always had a lot of fun coming up with Halloween costume ideas. My favorite was about 12 years ago in Manhattan, and since the party was less than a mile from my apartment, I walked right along 5th Avenue in my DIY get-up. I was a black widow spider, made out of black garbage bags stuffed with balled-up newspaper, pipe insulation legs, an hourglass and a vintage black velvet pillbox hat with a little veil. It was a total exercise in tease and denial – you could see my pretty legs and pretty face – but the whole middle of me was a puffy blob. I got a lot of “cumplaints”.

Anyway, if you somehow left it to the last minute to acquire something fancy for your phallus to wear to the Monster’s Ball(s), you are not completely without options. You might even have all the supplies right there in your house, or just need a quick trip to the dollar store (googly eyes, pipe cleaners, markers, etc). So you know that porn folder you have in your Bookmarks Bar labeled “tax info”? Yeah, add this post to it.

• GHOST – pretty much the easiest costume to pull off. Just need a white tissue.
• MUMMY – twist up some toilet paper and wrap haphazardly. Googly eyes would be good.
• BANANA – peel a banana, eat it, then tape the skin over your replacement ‘pulp’.
• TIGER – stripe it with black and orange sharpies, make a tail out of craft pipe cleaners

Feeling inspired? I’d love to hear all about what your pervy mind comes up with in the comments below!

Next stop on our Blog Train to the Monster’s Ball: Goddess Rachel will have you bobbing for… well, you’ll just have to click on over there!