Oh look, it’s a stripper spud!

Have pity for the underrated potato. It’s dull, dowdy and dirty in its unadulterated state. Diets lump it in with other white carbs even though it has tons of nutritional value. People mostly want to turn it into little sticks and deep fry them. And while ice cream gets a whole month in its honor, the stalwart potato gets just one day – August 19th. So I’m encouraging everyone who reads this to do something at least vaguely sexual with a studly spud on Monday to show your appreciation for all the oral pleasure it gives us!

Sexy Spud Ideas

1. Fill a plastic baggie about halfway with warm mashed potatoes and push your hard cock into it for a little sexy sploshing fun. Looking for a little extra kick? Mix in some horseradish to make your worm squirm more frantically!
2. Raw peeled potatoes possess skin lightening qualities, and I’ll bet you could all use a little anal bleaching up and down that crack. So cut a potato into thick slices, stick them in your ass crack and clench them into place for half an hour.
3. For those of you who like a little meat with your potatoes, core a potato so you can slip your cock right through it for some serious food fucking!

Those are only 3 suggestions for celebrating National Potato Day – sploshing, anal play and cock stroking. How are you going to show a spud some love for me?

Keep it sassy!
— Claire —

Podcast: Play in new window | Download