Welcome to the Christmas Phone Sex blog train – I hope you enjoyed Duchess Willow’s “Lemonade & Ranch Doritos – The Feeder, The Spanker and An Ebony Femdom Christmas“. If you haven’t had the pleasure yet, I suggest you head over there soon to enjoy a good kinky Christmas party story!

So the other day, I caught “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” on the radio between phone sex calls…which means my mind was in the dirty place. As the song intro rattled through the list of Santa’s conventional-nosed reindeer, I thought it really sounded like a bunch of nicknames I’d give to certain callers! Now let’s see how that would work out…

The Two-Pump Chumps:  Dasher, Comet & Blitzen

These make GREAT names for those guys who barely make it to the 3-minute mark of a call with me before blowing their load. Is that, perhaps, you? I answer the phone and I can hear the squelchy lube as you breath heavily into the phone, “Mistress, you’re so beautiful I can hardly believe you’re talking to me,” you begin. “Tell me what to do to my dick, it’s yours. Oh mistress, it feels so good, so good, ooooooh mistress, can I cum? Please can I cum?” Funny how no matter what my answer is, you cum! My answer leaves you feeling grateful and rewarded, or disobedient and mindfucked (bonus fun for me with that one!).

Flamboyant Sissies:  Dancer & Prancer

I lived in the Manhattan theater district for a few years, and let’s just say that the names Dancer and Prancer describe both the performers in Broadway musicals and a large swath of Broadway musical fans – drama queens who are as good on their feet as they are on their knees 😉  Broadway aside, why are gay men, closeted or out, so much fun on the dance floor? C’mon, straight guys, you need to catch up and take over these reindeer names!

GFE Pleaser:  Cupid

In the tale of Cupid and Psyche, Cupid is struck by his own arrow and experiences love. For a GFE guy, I am the Psyche to his Cupid. These special connections in the context of Mistress-sub interactions are not common for me, but they do happen. And when they do, they leave me smiling every time! Of course, you can also achieve this nickname for being chubby and great at archery 😉

Fake Alpha:  Donner

Donner comes from the Dutch word for thunder. That makes me think of the aggressive personality of the Fake Alpha. See, a true Alpha exudes superior masculinity and doesn’t need to make a show of it. The Fake Alpha makes such a point of displaying aggression and false expertise (“thunder”) that you just know he’s got a dinky little peen thing between his legs. Enough said about the likes of you, Donner!  nominate you as having the greatest need for Christmas phone sex in a few days!

No Man Can Earn The Name VIXEN

Vixen is such a great name that NO man deserves it, no matter how well he rocks a cocktail dress and 4″ heels! So I’d rather go down a quasi-cuckolding path with this one. Have you heard about the “Stag & Vixen” kink? This is a relationship where the man encourages his wife/girlfriend to have sex with other men. I find it amusing that the man is usually portrayed as dominant. Hm, I’m thinking he’s more of a “Donner” to her Vixen! Heh, see what I did there?

Continue to the next stop on the blog train tomorrow over on Cassidy’s site for a little sexy solstice humiliation!