Feminism and Feminization…pretty serious title for a phone sex blog, right? But hear me out, because BOTH of these things are, in their own way, hot topics these days. Just look at what’s out there in the news and pop culture — 2 out of 3 transgendered folx are MtF, Texas abortion restrictions, Taylor Swift throwing “Fuck the patriarchy” into her lyrics, heartthrob Harry Styles wearing dresses. These issues are all over the place and they’re here to stay. But what is the link between those two movements?
Is Feminization Feminist?
There are a few popular underlying themes with men who dress as women – and I’m going to exclude transgenderism here, because that is a totally different phenomenon. While the answer is annoyingly “it depends”, I’m delighted to report that, anecdotally (though I could argue that my sample size is large enough to qualify as empirical!), it comes from a position of…drumroll please…ENVY!
By wearing female clothing or lingerie, men are giving themselves license to indulge in the things that society judges them poorly for as men but accepts in women. Make no mistake – society is way more viciously judgmental of women than men, but you can read about that anywhere. This, you might only read here because it’s secret and subtle. Yup, men in panties can be subtle, sometimes so subtle they don’t even realize what their own motivations are.
So to answer the question above…feminization may not be feminist, but it’s definitely “genderist” (I know, there I go, making up words again). Those who seek feminization find an escape from the confines of their gender-based expectations. Some just need a pair of panties to achieve this, while others need a full-on transformation. To each their own, and I love those details!
What do Men-In-Panties Envy About Us?
You may find some of these observations astute…amusing…obvious…and maybe even a little uncomfortable.
- It’s normal for us to feel all the feels, let it all out, talk it over with our besties, seek therapy. Men need and want all of these things…but just can’t without feeling like less of a man. But somehow it’s acceptable to themselves as long as they “change” to a woman for an hour or two in order to be like this. Call it a complete 180-degree reaction to “toxic masculinity”.
- Girls can wear blue, gray and brown, jeans, pants, even a fitted tuxedo – and we look amazing in all of these! Put a guy in pink, purple, kilts, gowns, heels – oh he gets noticed alright! And he knows it, this is what he craves. There’s no such thing as ‘bad’ attention for the kind of guy who does this in public!
- Sexual objectification. Yup, that thing so many men do that so many women hate. Men who identify as sissies desperately want that particular high-heel shoe on the other foot! It’s a rare event for most men to be lusted after and sexually used, so they cast themselves as women because that’s what we get all the time – whether we’re old, young, pretty, plain, petite, pudgy, pierced, tattooed, or a blank slate. And they want a piece of that attention!
- “Changing” from a man to a woman is pure escapism. Leave the boring, stressful man-life behind for a few hours by slipping into a pretty bralette and panties. I’ve seen people do this in ways other than crossdressing, but I find this superficial gender-switching to be the most physical way of leaving your problems (represented by manclothes) at the door.
Does Male Submission Support Feminism?
This is one tricky-ass question. Sometimes it absolutely does, when it comes from a place of true recognition of our power and abilities. In those cases, it’s very flattering that a man wants to worship us, be more like us, obey us. However, there is a little wiggle room for misogyny to creep in. See what I wrote in the above paragraph about “stressful man-life”? I’ve been very unfortunate to come across men in real life who honest-to-goddess believe that a woman’s life is about fun & choice while a man’s life is about responsibility. To that I say HA. HAHA. HAHAHAHAHA. Now on the other hand, I talk regularly to a secret pantyboy who truly goes above and beyond to boost the status of women in his sphere of influence and has what I can only think of as “knightly” qualities in the way he treats us (love you!).
Now just to be super-clear, I’m not interested in bringing a feminist agenda into my sexy space – and that’s what you guys (in panties or not) are for me….my sexy space! But those of you who secretly still think of women as being less than men…we probably won’t get along to well. Unlessssss…unless your fetish is ballbusting or CBT. Then you’ll find me AMAZING!
Well worth waiting for.
Leave the boring, stressful man-life behind for a few hours by slipping into a pretty bralette and panties.
Yes, yes, yes! That’s what I love.
Now me, I slip out of the bra and panties and into something soft and loose-yet-cute, like a fine cotton chemise 🙂
What a fantastic blog Ms Claire! You certainly address some of the more common reasons why men want a respite from their male life and to “put on” a different gender!
I agree, often those underlying reasons are ENVY. There are so many reasons and you fleshed this one out perfectly!
True too is the desire to feel closer to that female energy. So their cross-dressing, even if just a pair of lavender or soft pink panties with that lovely lace trim, and then being ordered to put them on “for us”. Thus binding their bits behind that satin, brings them closer to that female they yearn to be near, to please, to relish in our energy.
Mistress Claire: What a wonderful essay explaining reasons for our crossdressing.
Unfortunately for me I’ve recently had my wife come across some pictures of me expressing my feminine side.
My five minutes of carelessness has resulted in days of misery. Suffice to say being “discovered” may make for a delicious fantasy, truth be told it can be a living nightmare!
My internet searches on “Why men crossdress” has resulted in a myriad of reasons.
I found one, (not an endorsement) entitled 11 Reasons Men Crossdress, and it pretty well sums it up.
Several of the reasons you write about are also mentioned here, but the one reason I identified with most is….Fun! Yes, just honest to goodness fun!
When I started years ago it was based on the taboo factor. Wearing mother’s underwear?
What if I get caught? No one else has ever thought of this!
Years later I still have that thrill of, “this is soooo wrong, I love it!” when I would have a rare afternoon to myself to slip into one of two of my beautiful cocktail dresses and admire my feminine persona in the mirror. Let’s be honest…crossdressing and mirrors? A match made in heaven.
I have gotten much support from several women that know of my predicament over this. Particularly one of the most incredible women I know, my Mistress Erika, who has been my rock, my saviour during this.
I’ve yet to be able to reach the woman whose understanding (not forgiveness) I need most.
She is still convinced after a month I’ve done this because I’m interested in transitioning.
It’s difficult to get my point across that I did this out curiosity and a fun way to express my feminine side.
I’m a cross dresser, although as I compose this (sorry) long comment I am sadly adorned in boxer briefs! I am keeping my chin up, but gurls, please be careful. Thank you Mistress Claire, for your indulgence and giving me the chance to opine.
Oh little peg, I’m sorry the discovery didn’t go well for you. My ex from back in my early 20s turned out to be a crossdresser and I was like…does this mean you’re gay? Nope. So I just kind of let it happen for a while and then got into it over time. Well it turned out his sexual kicks from crossdressing were confined to — masturbation in front of a mirror! Like he didn’t want to share it with anyone but himself! Hmph!
Mistress Claire. Years ago…(I am old!) the end game of dressing was, yes, to masturbate. For many years since…(up until 2022 unfortunately) that was never part of any of my dress up activities. It was just satisfying enough to luxuriate for a time in something that was all mine. It can’t be selfish, can it, to do something you know goes against societal norms, and want it to be just yours?
Your ex obviously did not know how lucky he was to have such a supportive partner. We sure have a knack for complicating our lives don’t we? Well some of us ! Thanks Mistress Claire
I love lingerie — for the freeing experience that Claire is talking about. I have a collection of 42 pairs of panties. I take a “Nair” shower twice a week and love the feel of stockings on my hairless legs — and the feeling of silky panties on other areas. This is a private thing. If weather complies, I will go out in the dark of night or very morning hours to sit in the screen in porch in flamboyant outfits to enjoy coffee and a cigar.
I love when you call or text from the balcony in your glamorous lingerie – you have beautiful taste!
I would like to be pegged while depilated and wearing stockings, and if it would make things happier for the female who is kind enough to bring me that pleasure to think of me, while she does me, as the male chauvinist pig who disrespected her that morning, I can only say “please pump harder, and pass on my email to anyone else in the same boat”.
Well for me being Judy, it starts out as a curiosity quest to understand what it meant to be female. I even took this quest so far as taking Women’s Studies at HSU in Arcata, CA. Yeah, silly me being the only male in the class. Now these days, being Judy fills up my day being retired and bored out of my mind. Also, it helps me out with my physical woes having IBS or SIBO, being Judy sort helps calm my nerves and stomach.
Well, it really saved me during the pandemic, I went all out buying clothes. What is a girl to do during a pandemic?